Me as a Communicator...

 This weeks assignment was eye opening and though provoking for me. It's interesting the differences between how you perceive yourself from how those around you perceive you. I always thought that I was a good communicator. I thought that professionally speaking, I was a clear, effective, and efficient communicator. I was surprised to hear from one of my staff that i've worked with for a while, that sometimes I am not as clear as I think I am with my directives and/or expectations. She did say that one-on-one she thinks I am clearer but that in larger groups, sometimes I change the expectation as I go based on the response of the group. My initial thought when she said that, was to get defensive and try and justify myself but instead I stopped and listened. And the more she tried to explain (very calmly and kindly) her rationale, the more I understood where she was coming from and appreciated the feedback so that I could learn and do better in this regard moving forward. 

I realized that in trying to be personable, and listening to the employees thoughts and opnions ( in my mind to validate and "hear" them) I would sometimes change my directive, making it hard to follow what I was expecting of them. My good intentions in being a good communicator/listener, actually was where the disconnect happened for me. Interesting.... 

I also realized through the assessments this week, that I don't always come across to others how I mean too. In my job, in life, in my home, really in all of the areas of life... I am constantly on the go and trying to get a lot of things done in a short amount of time (like many people). I learned that sometimes when I feel rushed/stressed/ and even anxious others can feel and sense that and I come across as rushing them and not caring about what they have to say. This feedback came from my close friend, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I absolutely do this in my personal life, especially with those that I am the closest too and most comfortable with, because my guard is down more than with others. 

Communicating and Cultural Diversity...

Think about the cultural diversity you see in your colleagues at school, in your neighborhood, in your workplace, and also, possibly, within your family. Consider all the aspects that make up culture, including race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, varying abilities, and so on.

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?
• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

Based on what you have learned this week, share at least three strategies you could use to help you communicate more effectively with the people or groups you have identified.

I found this weeks topic to be specifically interesting, mostly because it was something I hadn't really thought much about prior to reading. However, the more that I thought about it the more that I realized how important of a topic it was to really learn and grow through especially when working with children and families in an educational setting. Where I live, there is quite a bit of diversity. People from different places, different cultures, values, religions, and beliefs coming together... it's honestly something that I have always found to be interesting and beautiful. However, because I am from the dominant culture for this area, I don't think I really realized how all of these factors play into communication until this week. 

When I think about cultural diversity under the context of communication, I think that the following strategies will help me be a better communicator, stronger leader, and more open and welcoming human:

1. Remember that non-verbal communication can be just as strong (if not stronger) than the words that I say. I need to aware of what my eyes, face, hands, body, etc are saying to ensure people of any culture feel comfortable and respected when communicating with me. 

2. Take the other peoples lead. Open up the conversation in a warm way, but follow what the other party does to ensure that I'm respecting the differences in or cultures and beliefs.

3. Use helpful tools when possible. Would pictures or other items help our communication be more effective? If so, use them so that both parties are on the same page and there isn't any communication gaps between us due to culture, language, etc. 

It all just comes back to being intentional with my words and actions to make sure that people I'm communicating with feel heard, valued, understood, and respected. I think if you can keep those factors in mind, even when you're in disagreement with someone about something, a peaceful resolution can be found because your foundation is a positive one. 

TV Show Communication...

For this blog assignment, I turned on Netflix, and found a show that I have never seen or honestly even heard of. The show I chose was "Friends from College" and I picked the first episode to watch. 

As I watched it with the sound off, it was honestly a bit hard to really know what was going on and was hard to follow. Honestly, I almost turned it off a couple of times. But then I really started to focus on the characters NON verbal communication. Their facial expressions, hand movements while they talked, and body language. I began to feel like I was able to follow along a bit more on the show and what was happening. 

The non-verbal communication that I was observing between the characters and their relationships with each other, seemed a bit awkward and tense. The body language between them was a bit confusing to navigate without the help conversation and communication between them. When I look at the non-verbal behavior between the main characters and look at their feelings and expressions, it seems like there is a lot of yelling. Lots of hand movements, over the top facial expressions, and what appears to be whispering.

When I re-watched the same episode, this time with sound on, the pieces of the characters and the plotline certainly came together a bit more clearly. Looking back, it probably wasn't my best plan to choose the pilot episode of this show for this activity, as I think that often the first episode of a show hops around a bit more than a "normal" episode, because they're trying to get you hooked on the show by showing you lots of different plots and stories. None of which I really was able to pick up on with the sound off, because there was too much happening to retain it all. 

Additionally, if I had watched a show that I had seen prior, or even better one that I knew well, my assumptions about what was happening would have been much more clear, because i'd have a frame of reference on the characters an some idea of the plotlines.

My biggest "AHA" moment from this activity is that we need to be intentional with both our verbal and nonverbal communication in life but specifically professionally. It is so easy for what we say and do, when interacting with children and families to be taken the wrong way, and the results of that could be negative for all involved. It is important that we choose our words clearly, and are aware of our body language, facial expressions, and even responses so that our communication is helpful and not hurtful. 

A Competent Communicator...

 For your blog this week, think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

When I think about someone who demonstrates competent communication with a particular context, my mind immediately went to my sister. My sister is a principal of an elementary school, but before her current role she taught high school English for many years. When she is speaking about anything in regards to education, children, even English and Literature, she comes across as an expert in what she's communicating about.

When she speaks, people listen. She is passionate, she in confident, she is well informed, and she leads the conversation. I would go so far to say, that even when she isn't completely confident in what she is communicating, she does a heck of a job "faking it" using basic knowledge and common sense to get her point across. She keeps her head held high, makes eye contact, and keeps her body language open but confident.

Something that she does when she is communicating, is she is thoughtful in her responses. She always delivers her thoughts eloquently, and calmly, but in a way that leaves the other person feeling pretty confident in what she is saying. She also (even when she is delivering less than wonderful news) tries to approach the conversation with as much positivity and compassion as humanly possible, without seeming fake. All of these skills and attributes are what the reason that I feel she has been so successful professionally as well as what makes her a competent communicator in her field.